A Guest's Guide: How Much You Should Gift the Bride & Groom

Hey guys! Welcome to week four! You all know I like to write about touchy subjects, as you found out in, "Why it is OK to Disinvite Your Maid of Honor 10 Days Before Your Wedding." ...what's touchier than speaking of monetary gifts?

To start things off, let's acknowledge that not every wedding gift happens to be fresh, crisp bills placed in a beautiful card, which is then placed in your customized card box. Some are thoughtful gift baskets or bags filled with household items, or other things that your friends/family thought you may like. Nothing is more thoughtful than a gift that somebody made you, or a gift that required someone to spend time perusing the aisles at Target to find something that they thought you would love! Another form of gifting brides and grooms who are on a budget would be providing services! For example, if a wedding officiant also happens to be a friend/family member, and plans on attending the reception as a guest, the bride, groom and officiant can work out having the services performed for free, in lieu of a gift.

Regardless of those beautiful gift baskets or bartered services, the majority will gift either cash or check. Most brides and grooms use their monetary gifts as a down payment on a house or new car, or they even simply put it into savings. Either way, a gift to the bride and groom is meant to celebrate their unification and to wish them a lifetime of happiness. ...so how much should you gift the bride and groom? What is the proper etiquette? There are many thoughts and opinions on this, but the general consensus would say that EACH GUEST should gift anywhere from $50-$100. The internet tends to agree that it would be appropriate for a distant friend/family member to gift $50-$75 each, but for closer friends/family to gift $100+ each. In my opinion, I agree with the $50-$100. A good rule of thumb is to gift enough to "pay for your plate," which is usually a minimum of $50.

On the bride and groom side of things, we all must keep in mind that there are some friends or family members who simply "don't have it," and that's ok! They love you and will do what they can. Many older family members like great aunts, for example, will likely give you less than the norm, so again, that's ok. They came to be present, celebrate you and are giving what they can.

However, it is never ok to not gift the bride and groom anything. My thought process on the matter is the same of going out to eat: "If you can't afford to tip your waiter, don't go out to eat." - "If you can't afford to gift the bride and groom, don't go to the wedding." Keep in mind, I don't think any of us are horrible people, so I know there can be exceptions. To you, it may be extremely important that specific people come to your wedding, regardless of their ability to gift, but that is between you and your guest. As a former bride and an occasional wedding guest, I know to never show up without at least $50 from my husband, and $50 from myself. That is proper wedding guest etiquette and manners - plain and simple. On the opposite end of the spectrum, "wealthier" guests are not and should not be expected to give more. If they choose to give more, that is out of the kindness of their hearts, and by no way should be anticipated.

In conclusion, the general consensus has shown that ultimately, a monetary gift amount is up to the guest, but it is proper etiquette to gift at least $50 (per guest). If you are attending a wedding in the near future, I hope this article has helped to better prepare you! If you are a bride or groom, the best advice I can give you is to abide by one of my favorite mantras: "Expect nothing. Appreciate everything."

Until next week, my beauties,

xoxo

Gabby

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