Should you expect your future husband to help with wedding planning?

Brad and the guys! (Photography: Brooke Mattingly)

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Engaged? Check! ... Date? Check! ... Venue? Check! ....Now it's time to start planning!!!

.........but should you EXPECT your future husband to help with the planning process?

While, i'm sure some of you will disagree with me and this does not apply to all guys, but, ladies, the answer is no. Don't get me wrong, there are some things that he should definitely weigh in on or down right make the decision, but overall, for about 90% of the planning process, he's not going to care. When I say this, I mean he's not going to care in the nicest way possible. A real man knows that all he wants is to marry you and he doesn't care if you have chicken or salmon, peonies versus garden roses, and he definitely does not care what color napkins your guests will be wiping their mouths with. In short, don't get upset if he doesn't seem interested in some or even most of the details along the way.

I would be lying if I said there weren't times where I forgot this mentality. When working hard on the invitation designs, I remember showing Brad and asking, "What do you think?" He simply looked at the screen for a half a second and responded, "Looks good to me." In my mind I remember thinking, "Did he even look at them? Does he even care?" The answer is, yes, he kind of looked at them, and yes he did care, but he honestly didn't care what they looked like, just that I was happy. Ladies, just remember that even though this is his day too, it's really YOUR day! He just wants to marry you, and ultimately, he wants you to be happy with your choices.

However, I would ALSO be lying if I said Brad didn't have an opinion on anything. There were two things that he weighed in on:

1. The Bridesmaids Dresses

Of all things for him to have an opinion on, I honestly thought this would be the last, but boy was I wrong!

I wanted to simply choose the color and length, but then let each girl find their own dress. Every human on this Earth is built differently, so one style dress is not guaranteed to look flattering on each body type.

Brad put his foot down and said that each girl needs to wear the same dress because it looks uniform. Anything other than that would be "tacky and cheesy." (I disagree). ...But when your future husband finally has something to say about the wedding, you take the good with the bad and feel grateful for his input, so you roll with it.

2. The Tuxes, Bowties and Pocket Squares

Brad actually did go to the tux shop with me (even though he acted like he was in pain every second lol).

I wanted to have a pretty blue colored tux for the guys to wear, and Brad was on board, so that made it much easier. I originally wanted to have the groomsmen's pocket square match the bridesmaids dresses, but the dresses ended up being much pinker in person than online. The color was called "Rusty Rose" and it looked like a gorgeous terra-cotta color on the computer screen. Brad said "my guys are not wearing pink pocket squares," so we went with white to match their shirts instead. The bow ties were the same exact blue as the tuxes which looked really nice. Brad decided to wear an ivory shirt and pocket square to match my dress, and went with a charcoal bowtie.

I also must say that whenever I needed help with a DIY project that involved carpentry, Brad was quick to help! We made many of our own signs and decor. DIY projects are a great way to involve your husband, especially if he is handy. I could tell Brad felt good that he was contributing something that he actually enjoyed doing. (By the way, if you need any custom wedding signs, decals, etc, please message me! I would be happy to help!)

In conclusion, during your planning process, just keep chugging along. Definitely ask your fiancé for his opinion when you need it, but if he doesn't seem that into it, don't get your feelings hurt. He loves you and he wants to marry you. He wouldn't have proposed if he didn't! Us control freaks need validation sometimes, so if you're not getting the opinion that you were hoping for, turn to your bridesmaids or your mom! Just know your day is going to be perfect and all that you want it to be!

xoxo

Gabby